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I was a bitch, whore, worthless, good only for sexing and believed it.I'm no different than the Asian bar girls dancing naked on a stage, selected by number. My stage is different but like them, I'm called by a number, my phone number. No, they dance for survival, facing the horror of what they must do to survive. Me, I dance because I want on the stage. That's who I am, a dancing whore on the meat market stage.Convincing myself I was just a sex object, my esteem plummeted to my late teenage years. At least then I had innocence. My esteem reached its nadir.William’s love is right; I’m a bitch whore, used for screwing then dumped. No man loves me, none ever did.I sobbed my revised history alone and drank to numb the pain of her virulent, poisoned dart. I got a prescription for sleep, another for anxiety. I drifted into the numbness of drugs.After a week of wallowing in worthlessness, Paul called at the office. He told me to meet him at Jeeper's in Spanaway, a country-western bar. "I was barely awake. "You aren't going with them?" No, I don't need anything, and besides, we don't really have the money right now for me to do any serious shopping. I could stand a little quiet time to just lay in the sun. Between Todd and then the twins last night, I need a little break."I chuckled. "Yeah, Jenn and I got the twin treatment too."Pam laughed. "They're something else, aren't they? C'mon, get up. We all ate already. Todd kept some stuff warm for a breakfast burrito for you. He was planning on giving the twins a hundred dollar bill each to shop with..."The girls squealed, loud enough to be heard from the kitchen." ... Guess he just did," my wife grinned. "Get up!". I groaned and rolled out of bed, and padded off to the bathroom for a piss. By the time I walked nude into the kitchen, Jennifer and the two little nymphs had left, and my wife was outside, slathering herself with coconut oil. The aroma in the kitchen was marvelous. I grabbed a couple of warm flour tortillas,.
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